Hash Thrash #361 – By Just Carlos
Hash Thrash #359 – By Just Carlos
Hash trash for the month of March 2007 according to My Teacher Made Me Cum
BJ Hash Thrash Run through #155 (Latest update FYI)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #118-120 (Fun Week of Hashing)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #113 (Homecoming)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #54 (It took a while to top this one!)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #49-50 (Lazy Ass Hash)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #40 (St Paddy's Day)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #28 (Mardi Gras)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #5(Amigo Air Blo)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #4 (Homecumming)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #3 (basic)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #2 (basic)
BJ Hash Thrash Run #1 (basic)
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the day's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
That’s right, this is the first hash Thrash for the Border Jumper Hash House Harriers. We will be known as the BJ Hash.
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely coincidental.
FRB - Front Running Bastard / Bitch: Hacker Whacker
DFL - Dead Fuckin' Last: What-A-Fucker
Hashit Recipient: Butt Darts
The Fuckin' Kit Recipient: ????
Virgins In Attendance (Sponsors): Just Jose
Cumming Problem: None, because it was our first
Weekly Song:
Due to being our first hash, I have selected a Prayer in lieu of a song.
HASHER'S PRAYER-----From the Global Trash Hash Bible,
by Stray Dog
God bless Gispert, hallowed be his name. His
hash be laid on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily Beer. And
forgive us our Ah-Shits, as we also forgive those who pissed us off. And lead us
not unto temptation to Short-Cut; but deliver us to the On-In. For the beer is
cold, and the Pack is thirsty for ever and ever, Amen
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the day's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
Well re decided to run the full moon last minute.
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely coincidental.
FRB - Front Running Bastard / Bitch: RUN Now
DFL - Dead Fuckin' Last: Works the Meat
Hashit Recipient: Butt Darts
The Fuckin' Kit Recipient: Not awarded this date
Virgins In Attendance (Sponsors): None
Cumming Problem: None
Weekly Song:
HE WANKS HIS CRANK
Melody - Itself
He wanks his crank in the morning
He wanks his crank in the night
He wanks his crank with his left hand
and he drinks his beer his right.
So drink it down, down, down . . .
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the day's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
Oktoberfest
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely coincidental.
FRB - Front Running Bastard / Bitch:
DFL - Dead Fuckin' Last:
Hashit Recipient:
The Fuckin' Kit Recipient:
Virgins In Attendance (Sponsors): None
Cumming Problem: None
Weekly Song:
NO BLOW SONG (No whistle)
Melody - Looney Tunes Theme
You seem somewhat forgetful,
Remind you? Maybe this will,
Next time you come, don't be so dumb,
Just bring your fucking whistle!
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the day's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
Well it started off like any other hash, late because people wait till the last minute. Even the hares were completing laying a dead trail at the scheduled start time. Everyone had a good time, and the harriets were had by all. The colors were White, Blue, and Orange, and I wore them with pride, pictures will be on site soon. The pack left Point A and immediately in Border Jumper tradition, had to scale a wall to start trail. In true hasher fashion, we set out looking for beer. The trail wound around the campus and tailgaters were given a spectacle to watch. Even the local Police and Sheriff's stopped traffic to let the hashers cross. There was some complaints about an unknown person throwing powder on campus, but the University had no issues with this because is was colored to honor UTEP. The pack was not given a beer check, and those in search of beer, found some along the trail, and especially at Point B. R-U-N Now had a difficult time hashing because she wore her flip flops and could not do the shiggy. While on trail before the start of the game, the pack was also treated to the UTEP Marching Band as they prepared to enter the stadium. At Point B, we ate, drank, cheered, and beered. With our uplifting trail, the UTEP Homecumming attendees were treated to a rousing win over the Hawaii Warriors. Everyone wanted to know as the left the stadium, "Where was that free beer those guys were talking about?". Hopefully they can find us next week.
FRB - Front Running Bastard / Bitch: Saltee
DFL - Dead Fuckin' Last: Butt Darts - only because the dumb ass was socializing
Hashit Recipient: Face Down and Spread 'em
The Fuckin' Kit Recipient: Not awarded as no one displayed Non-Menstrual Bleeding
Virgins In Attendance (Sponsors): Twat Rott attended her first BJ hash
Some biker dudes picked up by the Harriets
Cumming Problem: None
Weekly Song:
THE BEERY BUNCH
Melody - Brady Bunch Theme Song
Here's the story,
Of a thirsty hasher,
Who was running at the back of a pack.
Every bad trail that there was,
Well he found it.
He must have ran for miles!
It's the story,
Of some sacred nectar,
That was chilling with a mind of it's own.
It was one beer,
Sitting in the cooler,
Yet it still had no foam.
'Till the circle,
When the hasher met the nectar.
And he knewwww it just couldn't stick around.
That's when his shorts went down around his ankles
And the beer became a down down down!
A down down down!
A down down down!
That's the waaaaayyyyyyy it became a down down down!
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the day's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
Well we arrived at the Amigo Air Blo, and low and behold, we saw the Thunder Turds flying in the air doing those amazing acrobatic maneuvers they do so well. Though no one was looking at them because we were all too busy looking for trail. Works the meat laid one of her trademark trails. If you have ever hashed with her, you know what I mean. But anyway, the trail was short and sweet, and the down-down took a while to get started because we were waiting for RUN Now to finish whatever she thought was more important than hashing with the BJ hash. While waiting for her, something very strange started happening. Several hashers needed to empty their bladders. Morehead and Everlasting were having a pissing contest to see who could piss higher on the wall. More head won though I don’t want to know how. We had a visiting hasher attend the circle this day all the way from Japan. That’s right, LIITA!! Actually, it just seemed that way because all the harriets were talking to him for so long, that it felt like he was there in spirit. We drank for hours and hours, while Morehead and Boobalicious were more interested with the turd on the floor than the one’s in the air. Go figure! The Price is Right appeared to be having fun, but I guess that is what happens when you drink Boone’s Farm straight form the bottle. Also, you have heard of traveling hashes, well we had a traveling circle. The circle started near the warehouse and ended up somewhere on George Dieter. Man were we tired! All that traveling to get the beer would exhaust even the most conditioned hashers, but somehow the lure of the beer was too great and we traveled endlessly back and forth from the truck to our circle. Down-downs were handed out by our Hash Whip (Saltee) for various violations on trail and in the circle. The most notorious comment of the day was made by Boobalicious. She told a specific hasher “don’t worry honey, aren’t you glad I can find small things?” The on-after was held at Butt Darts Apartment where we were attacked by a robot that was very touchy feely. This led to the Harriets locking themselves in the bedroom doing several unspeakable things. Form that point on I have sworn to secrecy and cannot tell you anything else. So remember, if you like to have fun, some join us for some weekly debauchery. ON!ON!
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely coincidental.
FRB - Front Running Bastard / Bitch: Boobalicious
DFL - Dead Fuckin' Last: Butt Darts (does anyone else get this award?)
Hashit Recipient: RUN Now
The Fuckin' Kit Recipient: Boobalcicous
Virgins In Attendance (Sponsors): None
Cumming Problem: None
Weekly Song:
NO BLOW SONG (No whistle)
Melody - Looney Tunes Theme
You seem somewhat forgetful,
Remind you? Maybe this will,
Next time you come, don't be so dumb,
Just bring your fucking whistle!
Hash Thrash #28 – Mardi Gras Hash – Sugar Daddy’s
BJ Hash Semi-Often Newsletter
Laissez le Bon Temp Roulet!
Let the Good Times Roll!
If you missed this hash, here is a recap of the night's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely
coincidental.
Nipples - Melody – Itself
Nipples, Nipples, N I P P L E S
Lick’em, Flick’em, N I P P L E S
Nipples, Nipples Covered in Goo.
That’s Where Baby’s go to get food.
Nipples, Nipples,
They’re what make the titties fun.
Hash Thrash #40 - St Paddy's Day Hash
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the night's event's.
Written by Butt Darts.
Everyone wore green, except 69
Virgins and Sick On My Dick who looked like the local pimps. At point A
Boobalicious gave out Shamrock Headpieces and the pack received the limited St.
Patrick's Day Bandana's. The trail was very short due to some half-minds
volunteering to do the Bataan Death March this weekend and needed to conserve
energy. However, they did not refuse to drink the hash beer. That said and
done, the ENTIRE pack WALKED. We were too drunk to run and needed to make sure
we finished cause if we didn't, no one would be able to get back to "A".
Anyway, the trail was good, the beer cold, and the on-after blurry! All I
remember is convincing some girls at a table that the tradition for St. Paddy's
is to expose their breasts long enough to let a hasher finish their beer. Thank
Gispert that we were in the VIP Room. For first timer's, this is a usual event
for the BJ HASH whenever at the bar!!! ON!ON! to more trails.
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely coincidental.
Jesus Saves - Melody "The Battle Hymn of the
Republic"
Jesus can't go hashing 'cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can't go hashing 'cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can't go hashing 'cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Chorus
FREE BEER FOR ALL THE HASHERS....
FREE BEER FOR ALL THE HASHERS....
FREE BEER FOR ALL THE HASHERS....
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves....
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause He's nailed to the boards,
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause He's nailed to the boards,
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause He's nailed to the boards,
Jesus Saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves....
The pack can't catch Jesus 'cuz he runs across the lake (skips across the pond)
The pack can't catch Jesus 'cuz he runs across the lake (skips across the pond)
The pack can't catch Jesus 'cuz he runs across the lake (skips across the pond)
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's stuck behind a rock, (there's a rock in front
of his cave)
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's stuck behind a rock, (there's a rock in front
of his cave)
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's stuck behind a rock, (there's a rock in front
of his cave)
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves....
(spread arms)
The Harriett's love Jesus 'cuz he's hung like this
The Harriett's love Jesus 'cuz he's hung like this
The Harriett's love Jesus 'cuz he's hung like this
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Jesus can't hash 'cause his dad'll fix the trail,
Jesus can't hash 'cause his dad'll fix the trail,
Jesus can't hash 'cause his dad'll fix the trail,
Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves...
Jesus can't hash 'cause he changed the beer to wine,
Jesus can't hash 'cause he changed the beer to wine,
Jesus can't hash 'cause he changed the beer to wine,
Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves...
Jesus can't lay trail 'cause the flour falls through his hands,
Jesus can't lay trail 'cause the flour falls through his hands,
Jesus can't lay trail 'cause the flour falls through his hands,
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves...
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's only got 12 friends,
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's only got 12 friends,
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's only got 12 friends,
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves....
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's dead,
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's dead,
Jesus can't go hashing 'cause he's dead,
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves....
(on your knees)
Jesus, we're only kidding
Jesus, we're only kidding
Jesus, we're only kidding
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves
Hash Thrash #49 and #50 – Lazy Ass Weekend
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the night's event's.
Written by Butt Darts and 69 Virgins.
We combined this Hash Thrash for many reasons, but mostly because so much
happened this weekend. For Friday night, we hashed through central El Paso,
with a tour of a local cemetery. That is how Just Brian became “ Night of the
Living Wimp”. As we crossed some graves, Klingon was asked to give Just Brian a
hug and to hold his hand because he refused to walk in there alone. Just Brian
(Wimp) was so scared that we had to make a pit stop on trail for him to wash his
pants in the Rio Grande. The trail started late to pose for some pictures with a
Fire Hydrant that decided to join us that night. The circle went smoothly and
then we moved over to Taco Cabana for the on-After where we met some hotties
that were so drunk that even Shortdick was happy to meat them (He Really Is Not
Gay <some times>). Then we met for Saturday’s hash… at least that what we
thought. Most of us were too drunk by the end of the night to even remember
getting together to hash that day. Fuck her!!! I did and 69 Virgins Returned
home after a brief stint in a Nevada Brothel. Where even there they did not get
lucky, but still lost several hundred dollars!!! Fuck her complained that the
ladies played “Keep Away” the entire time. The wind was howling so much that it
blew our whistles for us. During the trail, we were distracted by several
different events. The wind was so terrible, most of us walked behind
Boobalicious to keep her from getting lost as she had to walk backwards to avoid
her breasts giving her black eyes. Another distraction was the Ice Cream Truck
that Klingon had to chase to buy everyone an Ice Cream Sandwich. By the way,
that went great with all the beer and Jagermeister at the Beer Check at Our
Place that lasted a good 45 minutes. We then snuck onto Ft Bliss, where we
invaded Kelley Park. We ran everyone away as we exercised our First Amendment
Right to Free Speech. There the wind got so bad, we somehow landed in Butt
Darts Jacuzzi room where we sat in the hot tub massaging our aching feet.
Boobalicious provided massages for all the hasher’s muscles. 69 Virgins
reminded everyone we were still in the circle and awarded down-downs to
everyone. The Trip over was so exhausting, that we had to procure chairs to
rest in. 69 Virgins declared this the 1st Annual Lazy Ass Hash
Weekend as standing was not allowed in the circle, and the chairs had to be
scooted into the center for Down-Downs. It was decided that we would have a Lazy
Ass Hash the weekend before Tax Day every year. The crack Whore who lives in
the back Yard said she could not get into the hot tub due to the “RED TIDE!”
This encouraged the rest of the hashers to declare every 28th hash a
Wings and Strings hash where we will wear our “Red Rags”. We had the naming
ceremony for Just Brian and that took so long, that Boobalicous was able to
complete her 500 piece puzzle. The circle never ended and throughout the night,
random down-downs were called out for various infraction. The circle finally
ended in honor of Terry Shiavo and the Pope as their versions of swing low were
created. Food was eaten, the keg was tapped (as were some of the harriets), and
the last thing we remember is playing drinking games and a stripping fireman and
woman. The next morning, allthat I can say is 69 virgins and Strawberry were in
bed together and both had a condom in their respective asses and Works the Meat
was smiling!!!!
Any likeness or representation to any actual hasher living or dead is purely coincidental.
FRB - Front Running Bastard / Bitch: Just Brian /
Fuck her!!! I did
DFL - Dead Fuckin' Last: Strawberry Shortdick for Ever / Klingon Uranus
Hashit Recipient: Strawberry Shortdick for Ever / 69 Virgins
Virgins In Attendance (Sponsors): None
Cumming Problem: None
Weekly Song:
I wanna grab you ass – Melody Beatles I wanna hold your hand
Oh yeah, I'll tell you something
I think you'll find a blast
When I'll say that something
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
Oh please, come to me
show me you got no class
And please, say to me
You wanna grab my ass!
I'll let pinch your ass
I wanna grab your ass!
And when I touch you I feel hard
Inside
It's such a feeling that my pants
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah, you've got that something
a touch of class
When I'll say that something
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
d when I touch you I feel hard
Inside
It's such a feeling that my pants
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide
Yeah, you've got that something
a touch of class
When I'll say that something
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
I wanna grab your ass
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the night's event's.
Written by everyone who was there....... typed by Butt Darts and its long, but
worth it.
If you missed it, too bad. The trail started off like any trail, late as usual. Butt, this time was for a different reason, everyone was tempted to attend the Weenie Roast that was going on in Anthony that afternoon. It was so big, you could see it from miles around. We would also like to point out that one of the hares (Butt or Finger) went to the wrong point A as she did not know the difference between east and west sides of El Paso. The only reason she found us was because she was looking for the weenie roast. Hell, it even brought Pinchi Gomez out from Las Cruces. Hell, Itty Bitty was even going to make it, but she decided to just meet us at Graham's in Las Cruces later. However, she did ask Sick on My Dick to bring her a weenie. The trail was short and sweet, and the down-down long as always. I would like to commend Works the Meat on her trails, they are becoming something to marvel at, as they are getting better all of the time. I personally won't forget this particular one for a long time. Speaking of long, our Hash Whip 69 Virgins: Virgins had something pink sticking out of his shorts that got all the dogs in the neighborhood excited. He was disappointed as he had to stay to run the circle, and he pouted the rest of the day. Even a package check form Boobalicious couldn't cheer him up. The circle started to get interesting when Butt Darts mentioned that screwing an armpit was a wonderful sensation and recommended everyone try it. Shortdick volunteered his armpit, but was told that a condom was needed to avoid making a mess. Works the Meat was awarded the hashit so she could demonstrate her ability to swallow. Everyone became aroused and decided that the circle needed to get over soon so we could all go get some action respectively. 69 Virgins: Virgins wanted to walk home on his own to spend some time with the stray dogs in the neighborhood, and Night of the Living Wimp asked to be dropped off in the closest cemetery. He said he needed some time alone. We ate dinner at Taco Cabana where we were eventually asked to leave because we were being rude to the clients. Wimp said, it's the parents F***ing fault for bringing their children around hashers. We tried several times to make plans for next week, but Works the Meat said "we'll worry about that later!" After dinner we all met at Shortdick's apartment as we carpooled there to save gas. Although no one was allowed to ride with Butt or Finger. I don't know why, just ask the bitch! Anyway, we all went to Graham's and closed the place down. Some left earlier than others. Things learned at Graham's that night:
1. Lickalotofpuss is more than a lesbian dinosaur.
2. 69 Virgins can't sing for shit (there goes your rap career buddy).
3. Stacie's Boobs are real.
4. Don't bring a friend to a Cat Fight.
5. Certain hashers should refrain form dancing country.
6. Butt Darts will always ask "What do I get out of it?"
7. There is an epidemic of guys from Las Cruces saying "I'm not GAY!"
More follows……
Anyway, we were all tired that night and some decided to come back early form Las Cruces. We were even so tired that we could not get passed the opening credits on a porno movie. For those of you who were not there, I'd like to recap the nights events for you:
After getting stuck on the highway for 45 minutes while the Police Medevac'd a body out from a serious car accident, we got out on Interstate-10 and sang all the versus to Chicago. After we passed all 10 Cops on duty in that corridor, 69 Virgins said "Step on it, there is not a cop in sight" and here is what happened:
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over
Night of the Living Wimp: Yup.... because I cut your ass off?
Cop: Yup!
69 Virgins and Sick On My Dick: Want to see our ID's?
Cop: Where are you coming from?
Sick On My Dick: Fort Bliss
Cop: Where are you going?
Night of the Living Wimp and 69 Virgins: Fort Bliss
Sick On My Dick (in a retarded voice): Do you want to see my penis?
Cop: Yup! Have you been drinking sir?
Night of the Living Wimp: Yup!
Cop: Thank you for your honesty sir, I could smell it. Well have a nice night gentleman.
Meanwhile in the other vehicle.....
Boobalicious: Do you think we should stop?
Butt Darts: Fuck No!
10 minutes later......
Butt Darts: We're being pulled over.
Boobalicious: Oh shit!!
Butt Darts: Don't worry
Cop: Are you waiting for your friends?
Butt Darts: Yup! Would you like some free beer (handing him a BJ Hash Card)
Boobalicious (In a retarded voice): Do you want to see my titties?
Cop: Yup!
Cop To Butt Darts: Are you in any condition to drive?
Butt Darts: Yup!
Cop (to Boobalicious): Are you here of your own free will?
Boobalicious: Yup!
Cop (Looking at ID's): What is this gentleman's name?
Boobalicious: Butt Darts!
Cop: Thank you Mam!
Boobalicious: Would you like a package check?
Cop: Yup! Have a nice night. ON!ON!
Who would have thought that the shot of tequila was needed at the end of the night, as opposed to the beginning of the trail?
Weekly Song:
The Horny Hasher - Melody Brady Bunch Theme
Here's a story, of a horny hasher,
Who was fucking everything that he saw.
Every bad tail there was, well he tapped it,
By then his dick was raw.
Here's a story, of a horny chick,
who had her legs open all of the time.
Every cock she saw, well she sucked it,
She di'nt even charge a dime.
Till the hot tub when this hasher met this chick,
and they started fucking around.
That's when her pants went down around her ankles,
and his dick became brown, brown, brown.
Down Down Down!!!!
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed the Hash last week, here is a recap of the night's event's.
Written by Mike Hunt
So there we were on the campus of the University of Texas – El Paso. We had already been kicked out of two different locations throughout the campus for tailgating in unauthorized areas. It was Homecoming and UTEP has been doing real well, which usually is unheard of, and the place was packed tighter than a gay man’s shit. Anyway, we were lucky to find a spot near Point A and set up camp to party hard until we left to the game. Klingon Uranus Arrived a little late. By late we mean on time for the hash, but too late for a close parking space. Fortunately, He was able to find a local Star Trek group Tailgating and he parked near them. HE invited them to the hash, but they said their teleportor was down for the moment. Once Scotty got more power, they beam over to the trail. While Butt Darts was pre-laying the trail, several Police Officers and Sheriff’s Deputies stopped him and questioned him about what exactly he was doing. He explained that he was marking a trail for the drunken hashers to follow on the way to the game. They were also told if they followed it, it would lead them straight to the “FREE BEER!” They all kept the BJ Hash Recruitment Cards and promised to look us up (we’ve all heard that before). Also while the trail was being laid, people kept offering beers and Tequila to Butt Darts, so that explains why the trail was so shitty near the end. After some more beers the pack was ready to do the trail. We found some very generous fans that graciously departed with their beverages of choice. Butt Plug kept asking for Breast Milk, though none was found. Although, he was referred to a breast milk factory on Cliff and Stanton! Further along the trail, we found some future hashers who said “Screw the food, all anyone needs is beer”. They just set up a keg and drank. While the entire pack stopped to have a few beers with them, we found out that 69 virgins is in fact a distant relative of Jack Off All Trades as he flew by a keg and kept going on trail. He said something about “Checking”, but no one cared because we were all stopping to drink beer. Besides, beer always tastes better when someone else is paying for it. While Klingon and Boobs were looking for trail, Butt Darts was trying to ask coeds for a pair of panties to commemorate the event. They offered beer instead. He took the beer. After several stops at local tailgates, the pack found “b” and started up the grills. The beer was cold, the food was hot and the women, hotter. The circle was conducted in usual lazy ass hash tradition that has become so common for our special events. When it came time to go to the game, we loaded up the trucks and headed for the Sun Bowl. At the game, we got into the locker room and wished the Miners well. We even got a picture of Coach Price as they were coming out. Boobalicious really made the Miners day when she offered them Boob Checks as the were going out the tunnel. Later on the sidelines, we heard some miners saying it’s hard to wear a “cup” with a hard-on. Nonetheless, we got there late so our general admission tickets got us a seat in the nosebleed section. 69 said screw that, there are 3 seats here. Unbeknownst to us, those were season ticket holders. We sat on the 50 yard line, 20 rows up. Best seats ever, for the greatest game we had seen all year. During the game, beer was not sold, so we would occasionally head out of the stadium and drink beer at our designated “Beer Check” just outside the stadium. Even the girls behind us joined us for a drink. After the game, we went back to our vehicles to leave. Most people worry about the traffic after a game like that, but since 69’s car would not start, that wasn’t a problem. We stayed in the parking lot an hour later then decided to call it a night and drove home. Everyone has a good time and we look forward to being there next year. Come join us for some fun and debauchery. ON!ON!
Weekly Song
Bagpipe Song - Melody--Scotland the Brave
Here's to the lassie with the black hair on her assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the BJ Hash.
Chorus (hold chair upside down to simulate bagpipes; make droning sound and tap throat to form notes):
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na . . .
Here’s to the jockey with his upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the hasher who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the wenchy doin' down-down on a benchie,
For the pleasure o' the hasher who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a'queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Now the moral o' this ditty is when in el paso city,
And you're with your favorite girlie chasin' hairs all short and curly,
Just remember to take her hashin' and to give her a good bashin',
And keep her away from the wenchy doing down-down on the benchie,
For the pleasure o' the hasher who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Hash Thrash for Hashes #118 - #120
Semi-Often Newsletter
If you missed Hashing last week, here is a recap of the event's.
Written by Amanda Hugandkiss
It was a very interesting week in hashing. We started off the week by hashing with the El Paso Hash. It was a lot of fun, if you like 4 mile trails without any beer checks. Jiffy Pop and Butt Darts stopped for drinks as anything more than a mile requires beverages of some kind, and 69 Virgins stopped for What-a-burger and caused us all to be late. Though most of us thought he was waiting for the virgins to catch up so he could hit on them. We all know he is a horn-dog. Klingon decided to go ahead and drink beer. Very noble of him. There must be some kind of brainwashing going on as our hares on Wednesday night began marking trail using El Paso hash marks (fucked up, huh?). More on that later. Wednesday’s hash began the with a new tradition, mixing of the hash. The hash used for Wednesday’s trail was mixed with hash used at other hashes throughout the world. I wonder if there was any hash from Sunday…….. Maybe this had some effect on the hares? I don’t know. It also included Trix to be able to identify the hash on a weekly basis. Butt Darts recommended tasting the Trix on trail to ensure it was fresh. Everyone assured him they would. On trail, the scb’s were paralleling the pack and tried “boxing” the trail. Boobs and Price is right knew better than to follow Butt Darts, so they stayed with the pack. The hares outsmarted themselves by laying trail into a biker bar. The entire pack did not have their id’s. Except for Butt Darts who never found the on-in. The reason was while he was shortcutting, he was surrounded by a pack of wild Poodles and Chihuahuas and had to haul ass to avoid getting attacked. He called 911 (yes, he drank for technology). The 911 operator asked him if he’d be willing to wait for the police. He said hell no, i got a pack of wild poodles and Chihuahuas chasing me, I’m gone. He eventually found the way back to trail after calling Boobs for directions to “b”. Yes, she also drank for technology. The pack however had no trouble finding trail, though they were confused by the El Paso markings. Just Chappy and Jack Off helped find trail and walked behind Price is right and Boobs. Hell, so would you if you saw their asses. Anyway, they were able to overcome the obstacles of the markings and found “b”. They inquired about the markings. The hares said, “why not, works the meat used BJ marking on her trail for El Paso!”. Finally Butt Darts arrived and the circle started. Everyone had a good time, especially when the lessons on how to swallow were demonstrated by Boobs and Price is right. For an on-after, we went to the Ironhorse and drank beer, and sang karaoke all night. The bikers especially loved 69’s and Jack Off’s rendition of “raindrops keep falling on my head”. Especially because they sang and danced like little girls. At least that is what I was told by Russell who called the hash line later that night and told us to come pick up this fag we left behind. He keeps yelling “more BJ’s!”. On to Veteran’s Day hash. We started our hash late waiting for Price is Right. Butt Darts gave her wrong directions. The trail led the pack past the new Veteran’s Memorial, that was not lit up, nor had any flags waving. We found this to be a heinous crime so we left quickly. After that, the trail was led around the neighborhood. Just Ryan and 69 led the pack though heavily wooded areas, though packs of wild dogs, and negotiated obstacles on trail to lead the pack to “b”. Klingon again went out on his own as he was too lazy to walk an extra block. At B, Jiffy Pop introduced his girlfriend Just Sarah. She was very quiet and apparently cold. At lease that is what her nipples told us. Jiffy Pop shared stories of his Stetson and how he liked to ride “Little Doggies”. Poor Dogs. Remind me to call the humane society for cruelty to animals. When 69 tried starting the circle, the pack just ignored him and he appeared hurt. Don’t worry, we made sure the Wambulance came and got him. He was better after an attitude adjustment. During this delay, Boobalicious was trying to figure out who had the biggest penis. I guess she found it on her first try as she did not check anyone else. Price is right was also trying to find the big penis, so she kept bending over and mooning everyone. Very nice panties Price!!!!! Try as we might, it was too cold to expose any body parts, so we quickly ended the circle while Butt Darts showed just Sarah how to “come” using two fingers. Somewhere during this time, Just Ryan gave himself a black eye. We are still trying to figure that one out. The on-after was at Charms with great fish and wings. By the way, just because they have Philly Cheese Steak and Hamburgers on the menu, it does not mean that they serve it. We all had a good time and it continued on Saturday for the 120th hash at Bowie High School. Apparently the entire pack did not know that the Chamizal was home to a fantastic Orgy in 2003. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to help recreate it. The trail started off with several on-backs, bad trails, and check backs. Of course, we knew most of the pack would follow 69 Virgins, being that he is like a mother duck to the pack. The duckling eventually set out looking for trail on their own. The group eventually found trail and came across a C#5. They did not know what that was. Butt Darts explained to the pack that it was a check back. They asked where was the “b”. They were informed that the “b” at the end of the trail has to come from somewhere! Satisfied with that answer, the pack moved on to the end which was in the Chamizal National Park. Once the Park Rangers knew who we were, we were asked to leave. The circle then moved across town to Butt Darts Home where a cold keg and popcorn awaited. The virgins Just Kevin and Just Jeff were introduced by their sponsor, Just Ryan who it turns out was getting named today. Kilngon and Jack Off Were fairly quiet throughout the night, though when it came time to get their awarded Habberdashery, they couldn’t stop talking about all the neat things they got. Actually everyone except the first time virgin got something. Actually that is not true, Boobalicous felt sorry for Just Jeff and gave him a package check. The circle once again was moved due to some Biological Hazard that had descended on the circle coming from somewhere near 69’s butt. The circle moved closer to the keg and we proceeded to get intel on Just Ryan. Stories were told and Just Ryan came to be known as Sticky Pinky!!! Ask him why, he’s not shy to tell his story. After the circle, we all went to hang around teenage girls and got drunk while we watched them dance. After the party, the group went over to Sticky’s house and partied till 4am. It was a fun night and we all had a good time. We even picked up some new virgins at the party. So we invite everyone to come out and hash with us. ON!ON!
Weekly Song
Girl From Singapore – Melody - Itself
Chorus: She's a dirty mother fucker, she's a rotten whore,
She's a girl from Singapore
What did the drunk say?
Bum titty bum titty, bum titty bum titty bum titty bum titty, bum titty bum.
She's a dirty mother fucker, she's a rotten whore,
She's a girl from Singapore.
Oh she went to the church just to pray for the people,
But the skunk from her cunt knocked the cross off the steeple.
Oh she went to the well, just to make a wish,
But the skunk from her cunt killed off all the fish.
Oh she went to the seashore just to lie on the beach,
But the skunk from her cunt made the locals all reach.
Oh, she went to the alley just to try and shag,
But the skunk from her cunt made the maggots all gag.
Oh she went to the dance just to shake her hips,
But the skunk from her cunt made the records all skip.
Oh she went to the yard to play some fetch,
But the skunk from her cunt made the dog retch.
Oh she went for a ride on her
motorcycle,
But the skunk from her cunt knocked the chain off the cycle.
She visited Juarez on a medical trip,
But the skunk from her cunt just continued to drip.
She laid a Wednesday run just for a caper,
But the skunk from her cunt instead of using paper.
She took a short cut just to get back quicker,
But the skunk from her cunt made the shiggy thicker.
She led them down a cliff just
to test their reaction,
But the skunk from her cunt made them lose all their traction.
They made her sing a song at
the end of the day,
But the skunk from her cunt made the circle go away.
At last she was a leaver and
we gave her a mug,
But the skunk from her cunt was enough to fill her jug.
and so on...
BJ Hash Thrash update through 155
Very Semi-Often Newsletter
If you haven't been to a hash lately, you have missed a lot. So we have decided
to write a hash thrash to update you on the latest changes and occurrences at the BJ Hash.
As with any hash, there are often changes to the group. Most better than others. Lately, the group has noticed an increase of virgins at our hashes. We have discussed this issue at great lengths and have come to the understanding that increased abstinence awareness is finally catching on. Thank God most of our virgins still think that Blowjobs and Anal Sex are not considered sexual acts (thanks Mr. Clinton!). We also have found that many of the new Harriet's have been very impressed with the 3 lb cock. This is definitely the eighth wonder of the world, you must pay us a visit to see it. In the coming month, we will be naming approximately 5, if not more, virgins. All are definitely providing us with a ton of intel and we know their namings are going to be a lot of fun. We have discussed how the hash needs to continue its growth and we have elected new disorganization. Mainly because we need someone to keep making beer runs during the circle se we elected a Beer Bitch. We think that the hash will start having to carry a keg from now on. Do they make Lone Star in a keg??? Hung like this still has yet to prove why he got that name. Though we seem to think that it has something to do how he hangs his shirts in the closet. Our Wednesday runs are going great. We do a short trail, shorter down-down and we are usually done by 9pm. That's only because we have to leave the park by 10pm or they will give our vehicles a ticket. So the next time you and your hunny are in the park and someone knocks on your window, it may just be hashers and it's okay to ignore them. Spring is in the air and we will be doing Lots of Stuff after the hashes. So come and meat her! The BJ hash is something that has taken time to get to where we are at and those who try and knock us down know they will not succeed. But like I told Open Wide Bitch, if we want to keep the POPO out of our hair, we need to stop having bonfires during our down-down ceremony. One word of caution, we do not allow drugs at our hash, but I still can't figure out why there is so much CRACK!!! I have assigned Whore Gay to look out for crack and fill it with his caulk. But he never pays attention anyway because he tried sticking his cock in 69's crack during a rebuttal. Klingon Uranus is now our new Hash Whip and he is on a mission to find women who taste like chicken. Still no luck Klingon, but keep up that hard work and you will someday find her. As for the Harriets, we have noticed an increase in tattoos and body piercings. Pick a hole has 10, and we could only find 7 the last time we looked. We'll try harder next time and check any nook and cranny. We love to get Stormpooper in the circle, but it's hard to do a sandwich when she wants all harriers to get behind her. We are working on mastering that. Boobalicous is still the ever quiet one, saying nothing, seeing all. She continues to make our Harriets very happy anytime a package check is requested. All the guys love it when she grabs their package because being that her hands are so small, it makes everyone's package look bigger. The no named virgins are still trying to get the feel of what hashing is about and can always be recognized by their bleeding bandanas, or by the fact they are all huddled in a mass hiding from the Hash Whip for fear of being called in. What I am trying to say is the hash is always a lot of fun, but with the mix of perverts we have right now, we are definitely having a good time. So come join us, or join us and come, it's all up to you. See ya at the next hash!
BJ Hash Thrash update through 156
Border Jumper Hash Thrash: Hash 156
Semi-Often Newsletter
Hash # 156 started off much like any other trail, late as hell. The hares took off to B and by the time they returned, most of us were already dehydrated from being out in the sun so long. They said they planned it that way because it was going to be a long trail. Remember I said was, more on that later. As the hares were away, the pack got to know our newest hasher, Squirt! We all tried to get her to demonstrate how she got her name, but the best we could get all day is her mooning us and showing us her pastel yellow G-String. It was all good and we all got wood. As the pack chased after the hares, the walkers needed to do some paralleling, to not have to walk as far. You see, the courteous hares neglected to do a walker trail. None is truly ever needed as we usually do short trails. These God damn Wankers laid a 3 mile long trail. The FRB’s at least laid marks on trail, though no one put their initials so we didn’t know if it was marked by a hare or a hound. GOSH!! So while the pack was running, Butt Darts and Price is Right walked and shortcut the hell out of the trail. Here is what the walkers missed: a jaunt through an abandoned house, an ice cream check, and a nice stroll through a cemetery. So did everyone else because there freakin’ lemmings and followed the walkers. The pack eventually rejoined for a brain storming session. With some simple inferences, the pack decided to box around and eventually almost caught the hares. Too bad, Open Wide Bitch was hoping to depant 69 Virgins and get a peak at his tight little butt. Meatgazing is big this time of year as most of the pack continues to fall for the “hey look at this” routine. Just Jorge has developed a complex because every time someone calls his name, he looks up to the sky. Price is right and Boobalicious were their usual selves and just stayed quiet and observed the pack. Of course this was until the hounds started mooning each other hoping to entice Squirt to show off that sexy thong again. It worked and if you go to the photo page of bjhash.com, you will see boobs grabbing big chunks of ass. She really dug her nails into those poor saps. Just Sol said screw the trail, I’ll drive to “b”. Lazy Bitch! Anyway, Hung like this started getting turned on by all the mooning and he decided to lick 69 Virgins. It was then decided that 69 Virgins was going to be our new Hash Bitch. The harriet’s loved that idea. Thank God Little Red Riding Ho wasn’t there. Anyway, the circle was lead by none other that Klingon Uranus who needed a cheat sheet to get through the Circle. For Shame! As the circle ended, we all got in the vehicles and made a buddy happy! After the hash., Just Sol drove some hashers back from “B”. On the way, she showed us how to check your brakes whiled driving. We called them brake checks, but she did them every 3-5 seconds. Made so many of us nauseas that we vowed to never get in a vehicle with her again unless she was drunk. That way, she’d forget to hit her brakes and run a stop sign. The on-after was held in various locations around town as no one could make up their mind as to where they wanted to go. Just George (Kraut) kept getting kicked out of bars for ordering in German. However, he did meet a fraulein who later told him she does not sleep with anyone who wears sneakers. After this, no bar let him in because of those shoes. After the bars closed down, they all ended up at some hashers’ house and killed off the keg. While at the party, 69 virgins tried telling the girls the hot tub wasn’t warm yet and there was shrinkage. The harriet’s had to be reminded that he used to be called Pre-Shrunk. The next-day, everyone went home and nursed a hangover. And they all lived happily ever after. The end!
FRB – Open Wide Bitch
DFL – Just Sol
Auto Wanker – Just Sol
Hashit – Open Wide Bitch
Birthday – Just George
Border Jumper H3 Semi-Often Newsletter
Written by Butt Darts
Today’s hash was a virgin lay for another unfortunate soul, I mean Sol. We also welcomed our new hashers Just Mark and Just Kessie. More on them later. We had some new things in store for the pack and we were looking forward to messing with them. It was a live lay, though half-way through, Butt Darts and Just Sol were dying. This is what happens when two walkers lay live. So there we were, laying a trail while the pack was breathing down our necks. However, since we did not run with the pack, the following is a