Date page was last updated: 03/15/2007 07:21:53 AM
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Songs you will find the BJ Hashers singing if you ever come join us for a hash, or happen to be at a local drinking establishment after we get done with one of our hashes. These songs are a compilation made over the last 10 years. I forgot where I first heard them and who wrote them. If you want to download them, here is the link. It is a word document Right Click and Save target as: BJ hash Hymnal
Here’s To The Game Of 20 Toes,
Its Played All Over Town,
The Women Play With Ten Toes Up,
And The Men With Ten Toes Down,
Down, Down, Down …
(Unsuspecting Female Volunteer Needed)
Chorus:
Alouette, Gentille Alouette,
Alouette Je Te Plumerai.
Leader: Does She Have Ze Stringy Hair?
All: Oui, She Has Ze Stringy Hair.
Leader: Stringy Hair,
All: Stringy Hair,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, Aah, Aah, Aah . . . (Chorus)
Leader: Does She Have Ze Furrowed Brow?
All: Oui, She Has Ze Furrowed Brow,
Leader: Furrowed Brow,
All: Furrowed Brow,
Leader: Stringy Hair,
All: Stringy Hair,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, Aah, Aah, Ahh . . . (Chorus)
Wooden Eye (Yes I Would!) . . .
Broken Nose . . .
Blow Job Lips . . .
Two Buck Teeth . . .
Double Chin . . .
Swinging Tits . . .
Beer Belly . . .
Bulbous Butt . . .
Furry Thing . . .
Leader: Now Isn't She A Nice-A Girl?
All: Oui, She Is A Nice-A Girl,
Leader: Nice-A Girl,
All: Nice-A Girl,
Leader: Alouette! Aah, Aah, Aah . . .
Chorus
Leader/All: How I Love Her (Repeat All)
And The Hares, And The Hares
And The Hairs On The Dicky Dido Hung Down To Her Knees
One Black One, One White One
And One With A Bit Of Shite On
And One With A Fairy Light On To Show Us The Way
And The Hares, And The Hares
And The Hairs On The Dicky Dido Hung Down To Her Knees
Drink It Down, Down Down …….
Asshole, Asshole, A Soldier I Will Be
To Piss, To Piss, Two Pistols On My Knee
For Cunt, For Cunt, For Country And My Queen
Asshole, Asshole, Asshole, Asshole, A Soldier I Will Be
Drink It Down, Down, Down, Down...
Autohash Song - Melody - Dear Lord, Won't You Buy Me A Mercedes-Benz
Dear Lord, Won't You Give Me A Ride To The Beer,
My Friends Are All Drinking, And I'm Stuck Out Here,
I'll Ride In A Chevy, A Ford Or A Truck,
If You Drive Me There I'll Throw In A Down, Down, Down, Down . . .
Bagpipe Song - Melody--Scotland the Brave
(Back to the top)
Here's to the lassie with the black hair on her assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the BJ Hash.
Chorus (hold chair upside down to simulate bagpipes; make droning sound and tap throat to form notes):
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na . . .
Here’s to the jockey with his upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the hasher who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Here’s to the wenchy doin' down-down on a benchie,
For the pleasure o' the hasher who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a'queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Now the moral o' this ditty is when in el paso city,
And you're with your favorite girlie chasin' hairs all short and curly,
Just remember to take her hashin' and to give her a good bashin',
And keep her away from the wenchy doing down-down on the benchie,
For the pleasure o' the hasher who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Border Jumper Hash.
Ball Game - Melody - Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Whip It Out At The Ball Game,
Wave It Round At The Crowd,
Dip It In Jello And Crackerjack,
I Don't Care If You Give It A Whack,
Because It's -
Beat Your Meat At The Ball Game,
If You Don't Come It's A Shame,
For It's One, Two,
And You're Covered In Goo,
At The Old Ball Game!
Birthday Song - Melody - Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday, Fuck You,
Happy Birthday, Fuck You,
Happy Birthday, You Asshole,
Happy Birthday, Fuck You.
Drink It Down, Down, Down . . .
Bitch, A Dog – Melody Do, Re, Mi
(Back to the top)
Bitch, A Dog, A Female Dog
Itch, A Place For You To Scratch
Hitch, I Pull My Knickers Up
Grab, Another Word For Snatch
Bath, A Place For Making Gin
Sex, Another Word For Sin
Prick, A Needle Going In
And That Will Bring Us Back To Bitch, Bitch...
Boy They're Ornery - Melody - That's Amore
When You're Mooned
By Some Guy,
And You See His Brown Eye.
Boy They're Ornery.
Would It Be Such A Crime,
If You Beat Up A Mime?
No, That's Ornery.
The Phone Rings,
Ting-A-Ling-A-Ling,
Ting-A-Ling-A-Ling,
They Ask Is Myra Maines There?
(Myra Maines-Myra Maines There?)
Then Then Say
Resting Where They Lay
Buried Yesterday
And It Seems You'll Remain There.
Watch For Tricks, Play It Cool,
For Today's April Fool.
They're All Ornery.
While At Work Be Discreet,
And Watch Out For Deceit, Or A Bluff.
Get Some Water To Clean,
But It Says Needs Dry Cleaning When Dirty.
Seems To Me What You Need,
To Proceed Is Some Water Pow-Der-Y.
(Grab Some Glasses That Spy)
(And They Blacken Your Eye This Is Ornery)
Boy They're Ornery.
(They Will Do Monkey Shine)
(Just Watch Out Your Behind, They're So Ornery)
Boy They're Ornery.
The Phone Rings,
Ting-A-Ling-A-Ling,
Ting-A-Ling-A-Ling,
And They Answer Hello-Hey
(Hello-Hello-Hey)
Then They Say,
Please Without Delay
Get Him Right Away,
Have You Seen Mike Hunt Today?
Did A Search Once Online Looking For The Word "Time",
It Was Corny (It Was Corny)
With The Query Complete,
Came This Error Discrete, It Was Dumb.
It Said "Cannot Find Time",
So Was It Just Resigning Or Choring?
Seems To Me It Could Be,
It Was Just Too Bus-Y, This Is Ornery.
(Ornery)
Boy They're Ornery...
"Teddy Bear" Based
On The Performance By Elvis Presley
"Reddy Hairs" Parody By Malcolm Higgins
Oh Can You See,
Little Reddy Hairs,
Spread My Cheeks, I'm Bending Down,
Oh Can't You See Them There,
Oh Woe Is Me,
Those Reddy Hairs
I Can't Shave No Tighter,
My Crack's Just Too Rough,
The Next Thing's Cream I'm Tryin,
Rubbing Up.. May Be Gets Them
Coming Off..
Oh Can You See,
Little Reddy Hairs,
Spread My Cheeks, I'm Bending Down,
Oh Can't You See Them There,
Oh Woe Is Me,
Those Reddy Hairs
Maybe You Can See, Around There Evey Night
Fingers Catch In Reddy Hairs
As You Squeeze Me Tight
Chicago – Melody - The Bear Went Over The Mountain (Take Turns Leading Verses)
Chorus: I Used To Work In Chicago,
At The Old Department Store,
I Used To Work In Chicago,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Some Stockings,
Some Stockings From The Store,
Stockings She Wanted,
A Hosing She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Some Carpet,
Some Carpet From The Store,
Carpet She Wanted,
Laid She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Some Nails,
Some Nails From The Store,
Nails She Wanted,
Screwed She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Man Came In For A Fan,
A Fan From The Store,
A Fan He Wanted,
Blown He Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Some Wool,
Some Wool From The Store,
Wool She Wanted,
Felt She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Man Came In For Some Carpet,
Some Carpet From The Store,
Shag He Wanted,
Piles He Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Woman Came In For A Translator,
A Translator From The Store
Translator She Wanted,
A Cunning Linguist She Got
A Woman Came In For A Silver Faucet
A Silver Faucet From The Store
A Silver Faucet She Wanted,
My Golden Shower She Got.
A Lady Came In For Metaphysical Conversation,
Metaphysical Conversation From The Store,
Metaphysical Conversation She Wanted,
Fucked She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Man Came In For A Lollipop,
A Lollipop From The Store
A Sucker He Wanted,
Sucked He Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Drain Cleaner,
Drain Cleaner From The Store,
Drano She Wanted, Clean Pipes She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A Pony, A Pony From The Store,
Horse She Wanted,
Ridden She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Man Came In For Some Wheels,
Some Wheels From The Store,
Wheels He Wanted, Rimmed He Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Woman Came In For A Doughnut,
A Doughnut From The Store,
Glazed She Wanted,
Creme-Filled She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A Throw Rug,
A Throw Rug From The Store,
Rug She Wanted,
Rug-Burned She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A Watchspring,
A Watchspring From The Store,
Watchspring She Wanted,
Boinged She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A T-Bone,
A T-Bone From The Store,
T-Bone She Wanted,
Boneless Round She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Some Flowers,
Some Flowers From The Store,
A Bouquet She Wanted,
Deflowered She Got
A Lady Came In For Toy Sailors,
Toy Sailors From The Store,
Toy Sailors She Wanted,
Semen She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A Canned Ham,
Canned Ham From The Store,
Armour She Wanted,
Porked She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Woman Came In For Gift Wrapping,
Gift Wrapping From The Store,
Wrapping She Wanted,
A Stuffing She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A Beefsteak,
Beefsteak From The Store,
Chuck She Wanted,
Fucked She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For A Novel,
A Novel From The Store,
Dickens She Wanted,
Dick She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Cigarettes,
Cigarettes From The Store,
Camels She Wanted,
Humped She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For An Iron,
An Iron From The Store,
Steam She Wanted,
Reamed She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Widow Came In For Some Sympathy,
Sympathy From The Store,
Sympathy She Wanted,
Syphilis She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
A Lady Came In For Assistance,
Assistance From The Store,
Help She Wanted,
Aids She Got,
I Don’t Work There Any More.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6,
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Drink It Down, Down, Down, Down...
Dead Whore - Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean
I Passed A Dead Whore On The Roadside,
I Knew Right Away She Was Dead.
For The Skin On Her Stomach Was Flaking,
She Hadn't A Hair On Her Head, Her Head,
She Hadn't A Hair On Her Head.
Chorus:
Bring Back, Bring Back, Oh Bring Back My Dead Whore To Me,
Bring Back, Bring Back, Oh Bring Back My Dead Whore To Me.
I First Met My Dead Whore At Mitch's,
With A Horrible Snail-Sucking Face.
She'd Roll Them Around On Her Tongue, Oh,
And Barf Them Back Up In Your Face, Your Face,
And Barf Them Back Up In Your Face.
My Dead Whore Looked Into A Gas Tank,
The Contents Of It For To See.
I Lit A Match To Assist Her,
Oh Bring Back My Dead Whore To Me, To Me,
Oh Bring Back My Dead Whore To Me.
While Nibbling My Dead Whore's Festered Nipples,
A Horrible Thing To Discuss,
I Thought It Was Milk I Was Sucking,
But No, It Was Only Green Pus, Green Pus,
But No, It Was Only Green Pus.
My Dead Whore's Vagina Was Swelling,
A Condition I Thought Would Soon Pass,
I Stuck In My Prick To Explore It,
And She Farted Green Gas From Her Ass, Her Ass,
She Farted Green Gas From Her Ass.
I Thought Of A Way Of Preserving,
My Dead Whore For Posterity.
I'd Dry Her Like A Piece Of Beef Jerky,
With A Leathery Twat Just For Me, For Me,
With A Leathery Twat Just For Me.
I French-Kissed My Dead Whore, Named Merly,
I Liked How She Wiggled Her Tongue.
But After An Evening Of Kissing,
I Realized It Was Maggots From Her Lung, Her Lung,
I Realized It Was Maggots From Her Lung.
Once, Upon Thinking It Over,
I Realized My Terrible Sin.
So I Stuck My Lips To Her Sweet Pussy,
And Sucked Out The Load I Shot In, Shot In,
And Sucked Out The Load I Shot In.
But Before I Could Extract That Jism,
My Dead Whore Was Pregnant, And More.
Inside The Maternity Morgue,
She Gave Birth To A Dead Baby Whore, Baby Whore,
She Gave Birth To A Dead Baby Whore.
(To The Tune Of Born Free)
Born Dead, Your Baby Was Born Dead.
Three Fingers And No Head.
Born Dead To Live In A Jar.
Stay Dead, Don't Come Back To Haunt Me;
You Really Don't Want Me.
Born Dead To Live In A Jar.
Do Your Balls Hang Low? - Melody - Sailor's Hornpipe
Do Your Balls Hang Low?
Do They Swing To And Fro?
Can You Tie 'Em In A Knot?
Can You Tie 'Em In A Bow?
Can You Throw 'Em Over Your Shoulder,
Like A Continental Soldier?
Can You Do The Double Shuffle,
When Your Balls Hang Low?
Chorus:
Ting-A-Ling, God Damn, Find A Woman If You Can.
If You Can't Find A Woman, Find A Clean Old Man.
If You're Ever In Gibraltar, Take A Flying Fuck At Walter.
Can You Do The Double Shuffle When Your Balls Hang Low?
Other Verses (Same As Original Verse, Except You Replace The * Lines With The Following):
Do They Make A Lusty Clamor,
When You Hit 'Em With A Hammer?
Can You Bounce 'Em Off The Wall,
Like An Indian Rubber Ball?
Do They Make A Hollow Sound,
When You Drag 'Em On The Ground?
Do You Feel A Mellow Tingle,
When You Hit 'Em With A Shingle?
Do They Squeal Like Dogs,
When You Tromp 'Em With Your Clogs?
Do They Have A Salty Taste,
When You Wrap 'Em Round Your Waist?
Do They Chime Like A Gong,
When You Pull Upon Your Dong?
Do Your Tits Hang Low? (Two Versions) - Melody - Sailor's Hornpipe
Do Your Tits Hang Low?
Do They Wobble To And Fro?
Can You Tie Them In A Knot?
Can You Tie Them In A Bow?
Can You Throw Them Over Your Shoulder?
Do You Need A Boulder Holder?
Do Your Tits Hang Low?
Are Your Tits Real Small?
Are They Flat Just Like A Wall?
Can You Hide Them With Your Hands?
Can You See Them There At All?
Would You Look Just Like A Male
If It Weren't For Your Pigtails?
Are Your Tits Real Small?
Are Your Tits Just Right?
Are Your Blouses Kinda Tight?
If You Had A Disagreement
Could You Use Them In A Fight?
Do The Boys Throw Fits
When You Flash Your Tits
Are Your Tits Just Right?
Do Your Tits Go Squish
When You Poke Them Like This?
Do They Feel Just Like
A Slimy Jelly Fish?
Does Your Man's Pecker Stand
When He Holds Them In His Hand?
Do Your Tits Go Squish?
Are Your Tits Real Hard?
Could You Use Them As A Guard?
Do Your Nipples Poke Through
Your Pink Leotard?
When Its Wet And Cold
Do They Stand Out Proud And Bold
Are Your Tits Real Hard?
Do Your Tits Have Hair?
Do People Stop And Stare
When You Wear A French Braid
Down To Your Underwear?
Do People Think Your Breasts
Are Like Your Father's Chest?
Do Your Tits Have Hair?
Are Your Tits Really Real?
Did It Take Them Long To Heal?
Are They Silicone
Or Saline Filled?
Do The Boys Hearts Race
When You Shake Them In Their Face?
Are Your Tits Really Real?
If Your Tits Are Teeny Weenie
Or Too Big For Your Bikini
No Matter How They Look
No Matter How They Feel
Be Glad That You Got_Em
Cuz You Know The Boys Will Want'em
- Your Tits Tits Tits
Second Version:
(Sing Basic Verse, Substituting Two Lines Marked With * For Each New Verse, As For Do Your Balls Hang Low, Above)
Do Your Boobs Hang Low,
Can You Swing Them To And Fro,
Can You Tie 'Em In A Knot,
Can You Tie 'Em In A Bow?
* Do They Have A Milky Taste
* Can You Tie 'Em Round Your Waist?
Can You Do The Double Shuffle
When Your Boobs Hang Low?
Do They Dangle, Do The Teats,
Get Wrapped Around Your Feet?
Do They Flip And Flop And Dangle,
Do They Wind Around Your Ankles?
Can You Tie 'Em Like A Turban,
And Does It Look Absurd On?
Can You Use Them Like A Diaper
Or A Handy Bottom Wiper?
Are The Big And Pink And Round,
Can You Bounce Them On The Ground?
Are They Long And Shaped Like Marrows,
Do You Wheel Them Round On Barrows?
Do Your Oversized Zucchinis,
Overflow Your Best Bikini?
Are They As Big As Pumpkins,
Can You Walk Without Them Bumping?
Can You Roll 'Em Up Like Carpets?
Do They Fit Beneath Your Armpits?
Do Your Droopy Mam'ry Glands
Leave A Trail In The Sands?
Can You Get A Bra That Fits
Without Rolling Up Your Tits?
Your Bra Is Sixty Inches,
Triple-F Cup But Still Pinches.
Do Your Floppy, Flapping Boobs,
Look Like Pink Deflated Tubes,
Are They So Pendulous
Is Lolo Ferrari Jealous?
Does A Hasher? - Melody - Sailor's Hornpipe
Does A Hasher Like To Walk,
Does A Hasher Like To Run,
Does A Hasher Like To Be Where They're Having All The Fun?
Can He Drink A 12-Ounce Beer,
While His Friends All Sing And Cheer,
Now Your Time Has Come.
So Drink It Down, Down, Down . . .
Dough, The Stuff, That Buys Me Beer,
Ray, The Guy Who Serves Me Beer,
Me, The Guy, Who Drinks Me Beer,
Fa, A Long Way To The John,
So I’ll Have Another Beer,
La, I’ll Have Another Beer,
Tea, No Thanks I’ll Have A Beer,
And That Brings Us Back To,
Dough, …..
Father Abraham - Melody - Itself
Leader: Father Abraham Had Seven Sons,
Seven Sons Had Father Abraham,
And He Never Smiled,
And He Never Cried,
All He Did Was Go Like This - With A Right!
All (Shout/Actions): With A Right! (Extend Right Arm)
Leader: Father Abraham Had Seven Sons,
Seven Sons Had Father Abraham,
And He Never Smiled,
And He Never Cried,
All He Did Was Go Like This - With A Right!
All (Shout/Actions): With A Right! (Extend Right Arm)
Leader: And A Left!
All (Shout/Actions): And A Left! (Extend Left Arm)
More Verses/Actions:
With A Right! (Extend Right Leg)
With A Left! (Extend Left Leg)
And A Heeee! (Hump Pelvis)
And A Huuhh! (Turn Around, Drop Pants, Moon Pack)
Fuck A Duck - Melody - Do, Re, Mi
Fuck A Duck,
A Female Duck,
Screw A Baby Kangaroo,
Finger Bang An Orangutan,
Let An Elephant Eat You,
Feel The Penis Of An Eel,
Whack The Asshole Of A Yak,
Masturbate With A Gnu,
That Will Bring Us Back To
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck . . .
Repeat With Motions, Humming, Silence, Etc
Get It Up, Get It In . . . - Melody - Bonanza Theme
Get It Up, Get It In, Get It Out Don't Mess My Hair Do